I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
In America we eat man semen.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
