Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
