I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
