i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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