And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
