the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
