i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
