obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
