Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
birth control should be required to get into college
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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