Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
