I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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