the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
