no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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