At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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