Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
