shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if only i could text you this smell
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
