Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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