she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
