3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
