so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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