there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
