You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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