I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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