I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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