'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
