Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
