Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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