I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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