Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
do herpes really smell.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
