conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
