i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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