when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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