I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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