get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
50% drunk capacity currently
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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