My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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