Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
