This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He kissed a someone with a penis
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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