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This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
