youre lurking in front of me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
