apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
