I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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