Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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