sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
