now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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