this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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