I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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