I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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