i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
