is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
