I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
